It seems fitting that I write in February of love gone wrong. All of us at times find ourselves lending our hearts or bearing them on our shoulders to narcissistic fools who delight in one thing~ that of suffering unto fools. This may seem sad, but au contraire’ it is in delightful realization of victory, albeit the learning was sad~
(Written in the vernacular of prose)
Thoughts on Suffering Fools~
A year passes, and a sensation that seemed to blaze only eight fortnights has also come full circle into being. Infatuation, friendship, love, lust, or simply admiration~ there is no word I wish to attach to the sensation, now~ other than FOOLISHNESS. It just seemed to happen and in an instance, following an insult and invocation of cynicism~it was gone. However, I’d be lying if it didn’t take some time for my puny brain to realize the true nature of what had happened, as my heart beat wildly in my chest insisting and resisting the eloquence of what I knew was so right, and yet wrong.
Yet, heed the steps of suffering such a fool~
Foolishness~ the act of believing in something trivial and still smitten with the idea of credibility, albeit at one’s own expense. The lighthearted sense that kindness is a virtue that benefits both; and that loyalty is true in all hearts the same.
Scorn~would raise its ugly head and despair would be the solace of what I now felt and what I had once thought. Scorn at the insult and mockery of just what the fuck had happened; and the vagueness of explanation. Being sensible I didn’t stay within the grips of scorn long. Although, suffering fools can be arduous~ I seemed the only fool.
Gullibility~ now I blamed myself for thinking and spending too much time in the effort of this sensation. I looked for ways around the issue and certainly reconsidered my previous pathway and yet, I would learn~ I had no reason to blame myself.
Acceptance~ Simply put, there is nothing I did wrong, and perception was the cruel sword and the villain was in the beholder and the messenger. Tolerance became my soulmate to conquer the sense I had been wronged. For if wronged, there was no method of conviction against such an accusation, and I would still be square one~a fool.
Realiity~ One cannot lose something they never had. The sensation no matter how vital it seemed THEN, was no more and quite possibly was never real to behold. It was an illusion, a prank and an uncaring, misgiving knave~ and my perception, was the one flawed.
Success~ I lost nothing but I gained credibility for what is truly important in life, as the memory and the lesson will remain forever with me, and should such a sensation come again~ I’ll gladly skirt the line and ignore the feeling and the effort of such a fool.
And, thus my own sense of foolishness abandons me in the exclamation of such a win.
Happy Valentines Day to all those who love either foolishly or with the vigor of such emotion~ All are a win. For to never love is a fate worth than death.