Men and Women are Just ‘Hot Wheels’ in Disguise
You know life is one ironic, moronic adventure after another when you meet the perfect guy and they tell you it is only ‘casual’; you agree with them because you recognize it is at the least only karma that you met at all. You agree because you realize that you can’t keep letting adventure pass you by, and you agree because you believe strongly that letting it pass by would be worse than going with the flow or giving into the moment. As a woman, I agree because I believe wholeheartedly in the idea of Progressive delineation of the myths surrounding the sexes; and I recognize we are both after the same thing, and not to mention they are probably hot, and I like that they are ‘seemingly honest’ but mostly because there is no need for ‘small talk’ or ‘beating about the bush’~
Maybe you talk, have coffee, a drink, dinner or just skip that altogether…
There’s really nothing saying any relationship is anything more than ‘casual’ these days. You meet, you think ‘great sense of humor’ and ‘nice ass’ or ‘nice eyes’ and everything else slips into motion, so what is the harm? There is no harm, or foul in the fleeting moments of attraction. It’s only what happens in between when that attraction is acted upon. Why guys can’t be as honest in the end, giving some type of closure, so that gals don’t repeat the faux pas again and again. Guys and gals are wired differently, and it is not fair; and all the reading, research and emulation of how guys or gals think doesn’t save us from our own wiring, and certainly not our bodies reaction to one another. It’s not fair! Ladies, even when we attempt to mimic their vibe of accepting ‘casual’ as the norm, they disrespect our effort. Most guys want Betty Crocker in the kitchen, wearing only a thong, [unless it is a dinner party and they have invited company over], and a minx in the bedroom, wearing nothing at all; and somehow always ready at their whim and perhaps, simultaneously. We gals, on the other hand, just want them ‘ready, hard and willing to please us’, knowing at any moment, if we suggest the L word, any L word~we’ll never see them again, and what was hard and energetic will fizzle and retreat. So smart, progressive gals don’t use the L word! Progressive women don the thong and even if company is coming over.
So if it is casual, why do guys give the sense it means ongoing, but casual; and mostly why don’t they ever call again, leaving you to wonder, breathless and wanting more of them?
Jumping ahead, guys are better at playing this game of ‘casual’ relationships much better than we gals are. I’m not going to lie, I try to put on the illusion that I don’t care or that it doesn’t matter if they don’t return the calls, or that their suggestion I call and keep calling, because I do believe they are soooooo busy that they forget. Bullshit, guys set you up with that line of crap, and we all know it [that might not be completely true]. Then they put you down or give the silent treatment for doing exactly what they asked you to do in the first place. But, that is only the tip of the iceberg of what is really going on. Guys say they like the chase, but most are lazy and only chase in the first five to ten minutes; and, they hate it when gals chase [or do they?]. Once they catch you then they blow you off with no explanation. Because the explanation is the same one they used when they were five as to why they liked one Hot Wheel car over another within zero to sixty seconds of getting a new Hot Wheel and dissing the rest of their collection. “Shiny!” They claim they believe in honesty, and that is and should be our first clue, ‘they’re as frightened of making a mistake just as much as we gals are’. Shiny is often just lurking around the corner for either of the sexes.
My hypothesis, is the old school lines don’t work anymore with gals; we’ve heard it all, so guys attempt honesty but come across as blunt and crass; some of us think that is a teensy bit risky for any male and give them kudos. They put it all on the table, see who nibbles or who doesn’t slap them and walk away in disgust. Progressive gals get that; we don’t slap, but we smirk and say “Sure, why not.” We think, ‘cool this guy is Progressive, too.’ But, once they have you they resort back to the old cliche’ of simply being cads and assume ‘easy’, and not Progressive. Personally, I like a guy who is upfront, says it like it is or how it is going to be; but then I expect that they carry through with the same blunt honesty if things go south, as well. As a Progressive I’m more or less disappointed when men resort to ‘old school’. Let’s face it, being ‘honest’ requires a certain amount of emotional aptitude. And…
Guys can’t deal with feelings quite the way we gals can; yeah we, gals have known that since our daddies first allowed us to put lipstick on and bat our eyes at a guy. Progressive gals know this much better than the average Mary Sue, and we adjust the bell curve so that all involved wins [just like public school does nowadays]. So those of us progressive gals who meet the perfect guy and he lays on blunt honesty, we trust that when it ends, he doesn’t leave loose ends, strings, keep us thinking he’s interested, just to walk away and never call and leaving us hanging wondering what we did wrong or worse, who is the shiny new ‘hot wheel’. Progressive gals only wanna know so we don’t make the same mistakes over and over. But, that isn’t the case, and in my humble opinion, guys have no idea what progressive means in casual or ongoing relationships. They do anything, to get in your pants, leave you hanging, and then pick up on a ‘shiny’ new hot wheel…and, seriously, ladies if there were no double standard in most societies~ we would do the same, and well, some do…
There I said it…the catalyst of why males and females cannot seem to equalize the boudoir playground. Satin sheets are not the only slippery slope in the boudoir. It is the primordial wiring in both sexes, but some of us have tried to compensate, GUYS!. Women think love and know sex is afoot [Progressive women consider sex a benefit]; and Men see only sex, but think love might bloom and that worries them; but then there is that C word and that makes them bolt. However, men don’t want to hear the L word; and Progressive Women know never to whisper it, because it is the kiss of death and silence in not just a casual relationship, but any relationship, unless the male brings it up first. Because men cannot whisper it back without freezing at the thought of the C word. However, both words hang in the balance of our primordial psyche and I hate giving psychic credo here to men [because no one has seen a psychic male since Johnny Carson played Karnac], but I think they sense it even if it never leaves our lips. Most Progressive women aren’t thinking about either the C or the L word until the guy is; we’re thinking fun, perhaps about our own facsimile of ‘hot wheels’ and oh my god, can we do this again, and again~ and when? Because lets face it the old adage ‘a good man is hard to find’ or ‘don’t let a good HARD man get away’~same difference to most of us Progressive thinking gals.
So, guys, we get that you can’t deal~ and we give you ample credit for that. A bell curve has been set up for that, guys. We know that you can’t articulate a single emotional thought, so there is no reason to run and hide when emotions come up into the sexual arena; because sex is highly charged with emotional pleasures and occasional grit. We won’t hold it against you if you just give us some idea [even if it is discussed in Second Person and filled with all the blandness of a techno journal] of why it isn’t working or what we can do better. Maybe some gals will cry and get overly upset, but they aren’t Progressive. So when you meet one who is, give them the same respect you would one of your guy friends and keep the honest bluntness flowing, and throw in a stat or two from the latest Hockey or Football game. We’ll love you for that~but we won’t use the L word until you do first. We’ll just punch you in the arm and say let’s get naked, buddy~ Eh?
Give those of us, who do care to know how to better our chances with your species, a fighting chance. Employ open communication, honesty, and return the freaking phone calls even it means you have to conclude the relationship over.